Thursday, March 18, 2010

Inner Monologue

The cast list came up today and my name wasn't on it. Jason's wasn't either, so you can imagine the atmosphere around the apt. is a little static. We both take casting personally. I mean, come on, you can't help it. Acting is nothing BUT personal. It involves your ego, emotions, heart...

We'll get over it. All actors usually do. It comes with the territory. Tomorrow is a new day and a new show is right around the corner, but right now my inner monologue is one of a crazy person's:

"Why wasn't I cast? It's ok. You're a good actress. Obviously not because I wasn't cast. You can't win all, Abby. God has a plan. He knows what He's doing. But why does it have to be painful? I suck! POOP! POOP! POOP! What did I do wrong? Does Meryl, Sandra, Julia ever have low self-esteem? Stop blogging about your insignificant sorrows when people all around the world are in worst situations than you. Man, I'm selfish. God loves me. God has a plan. Just get through today. When's Jason getting home? How's he doing? Lord, be with him tonight. Ouch, my ego's bruised. God has a plan. Ouch! Pity Parties are fun. God has a plan."

God has a plan. He does.

Alright, Lord, I'm yours. What's next?

P.S. Those that I work with that read this blog, please know that I really am happy for the actors that got cast. Jason is too. I can't wait to see your work on our stages. These shows really are going to fantastic!

P.S.S. Mom, I'm not depressed. I'm ok. My blog is called "Living the Examined Life" so I just have to be honest. I love you! muwah!


  1. Kudos, babe. Soulmates must have the same inner monologues, too.

  2. I don't remember what pre-Oscar interview it was from, but this lives on my laptop desktop (because even techies get down on themselves at times):

    It's not hard to be humble, it's hard to be confident. -Meryl Streep

    So, at least one answers as yes.

  3. Remember.......Jere.29:11 & Rom. 8:31.
    These verses have brought you through losts of difficult times in your life..they will never let you down!!

  4. I'm still put out that my awesome comment didn't post when I clicked post comment...and not only that, but it disappeared so I couldn't try again. -Jen